Already got asked if we're dating
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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