I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
