Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
