You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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