My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
