That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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