i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
