Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
