Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
