found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
