The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
