whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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