Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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