Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
