I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
