i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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