Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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