so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
