somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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