I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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