One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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