he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
