420 ftw
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
