I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
