After last night, I could never be a politician.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
