I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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