I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
