You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
