I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is this like a preordered booty call?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
