Pappa wants mamma naked
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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