Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
