Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
