You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
