Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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