I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
