She is in my trunk
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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