i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
