Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
