I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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