Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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