only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
