i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
