I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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