i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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