you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
