Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
