If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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