Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
we're so committed to being not committed
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
