Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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