ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
