I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
